Over the years I have learned that having a friendship is very much like a romantic relationship. Good friends get into occasional fights, care for each other, value loyalty, and sometimes unfortunately the friendship ends.
Today, I am writing about that not-so-nice part of a friendship: when it ends. Do not worry, there will certainly be posts about more happy things regarding friendships to come in the future, but, for now, it is important to know that friendships are often changing and this is completely normal. As I made my way through elementary school to middle school to high school I met many people and made many friends. In general, the people I called my friends changed multiple times as I grew up. This never phased me much because it felt natural as we slowly developed different interests, were busy with our separate classes, or went to different schools. During the summer before starting high school, however, I was not ready for the new dynamic of a friend group I had grown to love. I had what you would think of as your typical friend group in middle school, but, as eighth grade started winding down, I was beginning to feel like I no longer belonged. It seemed that everyone in the group had one person they were really close with, while I was the odd one out. I was not invited to parties, people were getting together without me, it seemed that no one cared when there was no room for me to sit at our lunch table, and I was excluded from conversations. It was hard and lonely. I was certainly sad, but I told myself it would be okay because there will be many more opportunities to meet people in high school. I met several people in high school, but none that I would call close friends. I was disappointed because I expected high school would open doors for me to make new friendships. I kept an open mind and persevered, and now, today, although I would not say I have one big friend group, I have several close friends from all over who I know care about me and support me, just as I care for and support them. This was not an easy transition. It was not like I was excluded by my old friends, smiled, entered high school, made new friends, and then bam, I was great. It is a process with ups and downs, and it happens to many people. After going through these friendship changes, I found there are some important things to remember and do in order to get through the friendship “breakup.” The first thing is to understand it is normal to be sad when a friendship ends. A lost friend or group of friends are people you had fun with and liked. Try to find one person in your life who you know you can trust. For me, these people are my mom and sisters. In fact, as I went through my friendship low point, I realized that my best friends are my sisters! We have fun together, love each other, can always be ourselves around each other, and are there for each other for life. They were always willing to listen as I told them what I was going through and would cheer me up. Another thing to note is that you should never change yourself for other people. If your friends make you feel like you are not good enough or like a part of your personality needs to change, they are not true friends. True friends like you as you are and make you feel good about yourself. I realized that I would rather have no friends than be with people who make me feel alone or sad. You are amazing and deserve to be surrounded by people who treat you like the wonderful human being you are. Once you have determined you are ready for some new people in your life, begin the friendship search - get a move on! There are so many wonderful people out there looking for meaningful friendships. It is important to stay positive and stay true to you. Be yourself and eventually you will find the right crowd. Sometimes the search will be easier than others. If you are having trouble meeting new people, try looking into the club you have always been interested in or a new sport. This is a great way to meet people that share the same interests and passions. For example, as I was entering ninth grade I attended a youth group event for a chapter my mom had heard about. Now, more than a year later, some of the girls in the group are my closest friends. Through the opportunities my youth group presented, I met my best guy friend. I also have a really good friend on my soccer team. There are endless opportunities to meet new people. Every now and then it may require putting yourself out there, but it will be worth it. Most of all, be kind to everyone. It is hard not to want to be friends with someone who is friendly and fun to be around. A smile and “hello” can go a long way. So, what are you waiting for? Go get out there and do your thing. Have you dealt with any similar experiences? How did you move past it? If you are feeling down and lonely, message me! I would love to chat and I am sure the wonderful online community here at Real and Relatable is willing to welcome you to the squad with open arms.
2 Comments
10/3/2020 08:43:24 pm
I love this post so much Madeleine! I've had many friendship-breakups and I know how hard it is. But I've learned to move on from them! This post is so sweet and really #realandrelatable !
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Real and Relatable (Madeleine)
10/5/2020 10:36:05 am
I’m so happy you liked it! I’m glad you could relate, although I’m sorry you had to go through those friendship “breakups.” I’m happy to call you my blogger friend :))
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AuthorLover of adventures, traveling, family time, fashion, soccer, writing, and more, Madeleine is giving you all the real and relatable content you have been looking for. Archives
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