Over the years I have learned that having a friendship is very much like a romantic relationship. Good friends get into occasional fights, care for each other, value loyalty, and sometimes unfortunately the friendship ends.
Today, I am writing about that not-so-nice part of a friendship: when it ends. Do not worry, there will certainly be posts about more happy things regarding friendships to come in the future, but, for now, it is important to know that friendships are often changing and this is completely normal. As I made my way through elementary school to middle school to high school I met many people and made many friends. In general, the people I called my friends changed multiple times as I grew up. This never phased me much because it felt natural as we slowly developed different interests, were busy with our separate classes, or went to different schools. During the summer before starting high school, however, I was not ready for the new dynamic of a friend group I had grown to love. I had what you would think of as your typical friend group in middle school, but, as eighth grade started winding down, I was beginning to feel like I no longer belonged. It seemed that everyone in the group had one person they were really close with, while I was the odd one out. I was not invited to parties, people were getting together without me, it seemed that no one cared when there was no room for me to sit at our lunch table, and I was excluded from conversations. It was hard and lonely. I was certainly sad, but I told myself it would be okay because there will be many more opportunities to meet people in high school. I met several people in high school, but none that I would call close friends. I was disappointed because I expected high school would open doors for me to make new friendships. I kept an open mind and persevered, and now, today, although I would not say I have one big friend group, I have several close friends from all over who I know care about me and support me, just as I care for and support them. This was not an easy transition. It was not like I was excluded by my old friends, smiled, entered high school, made new friends, and then bam, I was great. It is a process with ups and downs, and it happens to many people. After going through these friendship changes, I found there are some important things to remember and do in order to get through the friendship “breakup.” The first thing is to understand it is normal to be sad when a friendship ends. A lost friend or group of friends are people you had fun with and liked. Try to find one person in your life who you know you can trust. For me, these people are my mom and sisters. In fact, as I went through my friendship low point, I realized that my best friends are my sisters! We have fun together, love each other, can always be ourselves around each other, and are there for each other for life. They were always willing to listen as I told them what I was going through and would cheer me up. Another thing to note is that you should never change yourself for other people. If your friends make you feel like you are not good enough or like a part of your personality needs to change, they are not true friends. True friends like you as you are and make you feel good about yourself. I realized that I would rather have no friends than be with people who make me feel alone or sad. You are amazing and deserve to be surrounded by people who treat you like the wonderful human being you are. Once you have determined you are ready for some new people in your life, begin the friendship search - get a move on! There are so many wonderful people out there looking for meaningful friendships. It is important to stay positive and stay true to you. Be yourself and eventually you will find the right crowd. Sometimes the search will be easier than others. If you are having trouble meeting new people, try looking into the club you have always been interested in or a new sport. This is a great way to meet people that share the same interests and passions. For example, as I was entering ninth grade I attended a youth group event for a chapter my mom had heard about. Now, more than a year later, some of the girls in the group are my closest friends. Through the opportunities my youth group presented, I met my best guy friend. I also have a really good friend on my soccer team. There are endless opportunities to meet new people. Every now and then it may require putting yourself out there, but it will be worth it. Most of all, be kind to everyone. It is hard not to want to be friends with someone who is friendly and fun to be around. A smile and “hello” can go a long way. So, what are you waiting for? Go get out there and do your thing. Have you dealt with any similar experiences? How did you move past it? If you are feeling down and lonely, message me! I would love to chat and I am sure the wonderful online community here at Real and Relatable is willing to welcome you to the squad with open arms.
2 Comments
Many of us are back in the swing of school as we roll into the month of September. School this year, however, probably looks very different for most of you, because, just like many other activities during COVID-19 pandemic, it is now virtual.
Online school definitely has it perks. For example, I can wake up later and I can make any lunch I want (goodbye peanut butter and jelly). Unfortunately, there are some downsides, such as not being able to see my friends every day and I feel like I have more work than normal. Homework, club planning, youth group recruitment, video contests, and volunteering, are just some of the many things on my to-do list. So, in today’s blog post, I will be sharing some of the things I have found most helpful in staying productive in a day of online work. This can be applied to online learning, jobs, hobbies, or anything happening in your life so you can have a day full of productivity!
What else should we add to the list? I hope you find my tips helpful. I have been using a lot of them since online school started a few weeks ago, and I definitely noticed some differences in my productivity (especially once I put my phone away, yikes). How have you been feeling about your productivity because of our new online environment? Do you have any tips we can add to the list? I would love to hear what you have to say in the comments below. 9/1/2020 0 Comments Living In The MomentI have found that I sometimes struggle with living in the moment - being completely present, here, in the now. While I may struggle with this, it is something I am working on. I know that when I am completely in the moment, I am happiest.
There are two main things I have found that prevent me from being truly present: (1) thinking about the future; and (2) my phone! Let me explain… I am a person who enjoys planning. I already know several colleges I want to apply to, I think about what I want to do as an adult, and I get ready for vacations months in advance. It is good to be prepared, but I can certainly go overboard. I spend so much time planning for things to come, but then I blink and it is all gone. An example of this is my excitement for college. I like thinking about it and visualizing my life in a couple years. The enthusiasm is great, but I can be excited for something in the future, while still remembering to focus on what is happening right now. While I am excited for college, I can also enjoy the fun things in high school. I can focus on the homecoming pep rally (although who knows how that will be happening this year), hanging out with my friends on weekends, or even having dinner with my family. I have exciting things happening today, and I do not want to miss them by looking too far ahead. In general, thinking about the future is good, but there is a limit. I try to place a limit on myself in a way. I can think about what is to come every now and then and even do some planning (because some preparation can be good), but then I can ground myself in the current day. What is happening at the moment? What is happening today? How can I enjoy this now to the fullest? Something else that prevents me from being completely in the moment is being behind my phone! I especially notice this when I find a scenic place in nature or discover a “cute” location. My mindset can be oh my gosh, this place is adorable, time to take a picture, and then I will proceed to take several photos, making sure I get the perfect one, without really getting to soak in the view with my own eyes. After doing this for some time, I realized it is not about the picture, it is about the view. When I spent so much time trying to get a perfect picture, I wasn’t happy or living in the moment. Do not get me wrong, I love having photos from places I go as memories and to post on Instagram, but I realized that should not be my sole focus. Recently, when going on little adventures, I have worked on making the times I take out my phone minimal. I really wanted to be focused on where I was at the moment. Of course I would take out my phone and snap some pictures (after all, pictures are so much fun to look back on), but I would take a few then put my phone away. If I wanted to get a picture for Instagram, I might say, “Okay, I want to take a couple minutes to get an Instagram picture, but then I am all done,” or, “Let’s take a second to get a family shot.” By doing this, I am more present, and can enjoy where I am without worrying about getting a picture. I know I have some pictures to capture the moment, or maybe even post, but then I am done. To sum everything up, there are many distractions that can get in the way of you, me, or anyone living in the moment. Life moves at a fast pace, and if you are not looking you can miss it. Whatever your distraction may be, whether it is thinking about the future, going on your phone, taking pictures, or something else all together, try to anchor yourself down and open your eyes to the present moment. This is something I am still working on, but I am getting better at it. Is this something you are working on? If so, what are your distractors? How do you live in the moment? Living in the moment helps create amazing memories. Being present for spectacular views, laughter with your friends, travels with your family, parties with your peers, and other life happenings will help us all enjoy everything so much more. A saying that I like to repeat is very relevant for this topic: be here now. |
AuthorLover of adventures, traveling, family time, fashion, soccer, writing, and more, Madeleine is giving you all the real and relatable content you have been looking for. Archives
September 2021
Categories
|