11/10/2020 10 Comments What Eating Healthy Really MeansWhat do you think of when you hear the words “eating healthy”? Most people picture fruits, vegetables, and no sweets. In my opinion, this is a restricted outlook and one that is likely to lead to an unhealthy relationship with food.
My mom is a registered dietitian, so I am happy that I have been able to learn from her, and her “all foods fit” mindset. Please note that I am by no means a nutritionist or dietitian! I am writing this post because I want to share my thoughts on a topic that is very relevant in today’s society. I am a teen girl who sees Instagram posts come up from time to time telling people to cut out carbs and who hears people say in conversation that they cannot have dessert because they are trying to eat “healthy.” Healthy. There is that word again. But, what if healthy does not mean eating only fruits and vegetables? What if healthy is referring to BALANCE? I believe there is more than one answer to what eating healthy means, and eating healthy looks different for every person because each person has different needs and preferences. In general, apples, kale, and spinach are seen as “good” foods, while brownies, chips, and ice cream are seen as “bad” foods. Foods are not good or bad! Society has led us to label foods and either consciously or subconsciously attach a certain morality to what we eat. In reality, apples, kale, and spinach are FOOD items, and brownies, chips, and ice cream are FOOD items. Eating one item over the other does not make someone a better or worse person. One part of healthy eating is not labeling foods as good or bad. Another part is honoring what your body tells you. For me, when I want a piece of banana bread, I will eat a piece of banana bread. When I want an ice cream cone, I will eat an ice cream cone. This does not make me an unhealthy eater. I am listening to my body’s signals, and by responding to these signals I can enjoy foods that I want to eat. I also really enjoy vegetables and fruits, and I eat them when I want to - not because I think I need to. When I want carrots, I will eat carrots. When I want strawberries, I will eat strawberries. You get the idea. There are some bad connotations with desserts, chips, and other foods labeled as “unhealthy.” I do not like looking at foods this way. Food is not only a source of fuel; it is also a source of joy. In addition to daily eating, food can be used to celebrate! Going out to a nice restaurant with friends, eating cake at a birthday party, and spending time with family on Thanksgiving are three examples of food being used to celebrate. Can you imagine not eating cake at your own birthday party because you did not want to be unhealthy? This happens to some people, and I think this is the case because of the negative ideas surrounding food that have plagued conversations, social media, and even the news. Lastly, and I am not going to sugar coat this: diets are stupid. Restricting food and having so much control over what one eats can destroy someone’s relationship with food. Not to mention, they do not work! The desire to diet can stem from a desire to lose weight, eat “cleaner,” or get on a new “health kick,” but diets are not sustainable and do not support what one’s body needs and wants. So, in a nutshell, these are some of my thoughts on eating healthy. I would love if you commented below what your thoughts are regarding eating healthy. Would you be interested in a blog post zooming in on something I mentioned today? If you want to have a conversation about this, please feel free to email or DM me; I would love to chat.
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Our generation is incredibly lucky. We have so much technology and many methods of communication that allow us to get in touch with people in a matter of seconds. While this is certainly beneficial, and I would not want it any other way, I made a change in how I communicate with people a majority of the time, and I encourage you to make this change too.
When people say that they are “talking” to someone, are they really talking? Probably not. They are most likely texting, snapchatting, or communicating in another similar form. While it is convenient and helpful to send someone a quick text, it is not really talking. When I was in seventh grade and I had my first boyfriend, we would spend hours on the phone “talking.” We were not actually talking; we were texting - there is a difference! One day, my parents said that I could not text him for more than fifteen minutes a day and, if I wanted to communicate with him more, it would have to be over the phone. I was not happy about this! Fifteen minutes seemed like barely any time and I did not like having this limitation. Soon after, I realized that my parents were on to something. I ended up loving the time spent talking on the phone. Receiving voicemails was so exciting and I enjoyed having real conversations much more than I liked sending hundreds of text messages back and forth. I liked my parents’ “rule” so much that I incorporated this new idea into many of my relationships. I called old friends on the phone, and I asked friends to FaceTime when we started texting. All in all, hearing my friends’ voices or communicating with them face to face was much more rewarding and meaningful than through screens. Something else that I have noticed when communicating with teens my age is that when we are together in-person, snapchatting, going through Instagram, and social media notifications can get in the way of our time together. Even when this does not happen to me personally, I have observed it at school events and at restaurants where groups of friends are at dinner tables together - so many people are on their phones! When people are on their phones while they are with others, they are not being completely present. In my opinion, time with other people is some of the most special time there is. When I am out with friends or family, I try to put my phone in my bag and do not look at it until I return home or am alone. I always end up enjoying myself much more when I do not look at my phone. The tendency to look at your phone when you get a notification is normal - notifications are there to try to get you to go on your phone - and wanting to send someone a text when you have something to say is completely understandable - it is so convenient! What I hope is that this post will shed some light on my perspective on communication and how our phones are not always helpful when interacting with others. Do you prefer texting, FaceTiming, or calling your friends? Are you someone who likes to be on your phone when you are out with people or do you put it away? Regardless of your preference, maybe we can all try to be more cognizant of how we communicate with others. Are you texting or talking? Are you listening to what someone is saying or are you more focused on what someone snapped you? Let me know what your thoughts are on this topic in the comments below! I would love to hear what you think and hear your perspective on texting and other forms of communication. 10/13/2020 5 Comments I Got My Grade Back...Uh OhIf you are a student like me, you know school is filled with grades and tests. Grades and scores can be derived from a range of things, from quizzes to unit tests to midterms to Advanced Placement exams to the SAT. No matter the significance of the test, at some point or another you are bound to get back a score that you do not like.
This topic is of particular importance to me this week, because I recently got my SAT score. While the score I received is considered very good and I worked hard studying all summer, I fell short of my goal. I was very disappointed. I had worked hard. I had my hopes set on seeing a certain number, and that score was not achieved. While I am still disappointed, I know it was only my first attempt, I was not far from my goal, and I have other opportunities to achieve my desired outcome. Plus, I am feeling much better because I altered my mindset to view the events in a different way. I want to share some of my thought processes, and hope that they will help you when you get a grade you are not happy with, regardless of if it is from a small quiz or your final exam. The first thing I found helpful was allowing myself to be upset. It is perfectly understandable that I was upset. I had a set of expectations for how I would perform and those expectations were not met. I did not, however, allow myself to be upset for long. I gave myself two days to be sad and think about how disappointed I was, but after those two days it was time to move on. Another thing I reminded myself of was that there was absolutely nothing I could have done differently to have gotten a higher score. When I was reflecting on my months of studying and how prepared I was for the test day, there was nothing I would have done differently. I studied for many hours and put forth a solid effort. I do not wish I studied more, because I studied the amount that was right for me. The night before the test I went for a walk, ate a good dinner, and went to bed early. The day of the test I ate a good breakfast, wore comfortable clothing, and focused. I entered the “testing zone.” I had prepared and it was time to execute. Understanding this and coming to this conclusion, helped me be more at peace with the test results. My preparation was, what I would consider, perfect. This leads to something else I told myself, which was there is no changing my score. I can be disappointed with what I got, but there is no way the number will change. All I can focus on is doing better next time. I cannot change the past, but I can control what happens in the future. I can go and take the test again. While I prepare for my next test, I will work hard and stay motivated. I need to convince myself “I got this!” because, if I go in with that mindset, I will do much better than if I dwell on the past. Those were some of the things I used to change my mindset from disappointed to positive. If this situation relates to you, I hope sharing my experience and thought processes will help! A major takeaway for both bad test grades and many other things in life is to work hard, have no regrets, and know you cannot change your past but you can change your future. Have you received a test score you are not happy with? It is not something people normally like to share, but it is normal and part of life. Do you have any failed testing stories? Let me know in the comments. Over the years I have learned that having a friendship is very much like a romantic relationship. Good friends get into occasional fights, care for each other, value loyalty, and sometimes unfortunately the friendship ends.
Today, I am writing about that not-so-nice part of a friendship: when it ends. Do not worry, there will certainly be posts about more happy things regarding friendships to come in the future, but, for now, it is important to know that friendships are often changing and this is completely normal. As I made my way through elementary school to middle school to high school I met many people and made many friends. In general, the people I called my friends changed multiple times as I grew up. This never phased me much because it felt natural as we slowly developed different interests, were busy with our separate classes, or went to different schools. During the summer before starting high school, however, I was not ready for the new dynamic of a friend group I had grown to love. I had what you would think of as your typical friend group in middle school, but, as eighth grade started winding down, I was beginning to feel like I no longer belonged. It seemed that everyone in the group had one person they were really close with, while I was the odd one out. I was not invited to parties, people were getting together without me, it seemed that no one cared when there was no room for me to sit at our lunch table, and I was excluded from conversations. It was hard and lonely. I was certainly sad, but I told myself it would be okay because there will be many more opportunities to meet people in high school. I met several people in high school, but none that I would call close friends. I was disappointed because I expected high school would open doors for me to make new friendships. I kept an open mind and persevered, and now, today, although I would not say I have one big friend group, I have several close friends from all over who I know care about me and support me, just as I care for and support them. This was not an easy transition. It was not like I was excluded by my old friends, smiled, entered high school, made new friends, and then bam, I was great. It is a process with ups and downs, and it happens to many people. After going through these friendship changes, I found there are some important things to remember and do in order to get through the friendship “breakup.” The first thing is to understand it is normal to be sad when a friendship ends. A lost friend or group of friends are people you had fun with and liked. Try to find one person in your life who you know you can trust. For me, these people are my mom and sisters. In fact, as I went through my friendship low point, I realized that my best friends are my sisters! We have fun together, love each other, can always be ourselves around each other, and are there for each other for life. They were always willing to listen as I told them what I was going through and would cheer me up. Another thing to note is that you should never change yourself for other people. If your friends make you feel like you are not good enough or like a part of your personality needs to change, they are not true friends. True friends like you as you are and make you feel good about yourself. I realized that I would rather have no friends than be with people who make me feel alone or sad. You are amazing and deserve to be surrounded by people who treat you like the wonderful human being you are. Once you have determined you are ready for some new people in your life, begin the friendship search - get a move on! There are so many wonderful people out there looking for meaningful friendships. It is important to stay positive and stay true to you. Be yourself and eventually you will find the right crowd. Sometimes the search will be easier than others. If you are having trouble meeting new people, try looking into the club you have always been interested in or a new sport. This is a great way to meet people that share the same interests and passions. For example, as I was entering ninth grade I attended a youth group event for a chapter my mom had heard about. Now, more than a year later, some of the girls in the group are my closest friends. Through the opportunities my youth group presented, I met my best guy friend. I also have a really good friend on my soccer team. There are endless opportunities to meet new people. Every now and then it may require putting yourself out there, but it will be worth it. Most of all, be kind to everyone. It is hard not to want to be friends with someone who is friendly and fun to be around. A smile and “hello” can go a long way. So, what are you waiting for? Go get out there and do your thing. Have you dealt with any similar experiences? How did you move past it? If you are feeling down and lonely, message me! I would love to chat and I am sure the wonderful online community here at Real and Relatable is willing to welcome you to the squad with open arms. Many of us are back in the swing of school as we roll into the month of September. School this year, however, probably looks very different for most of you, because, just like many other activities during COVID-19 pandemic, it is now virtual.
Online school definitely has it perks. For example, I can wake up later and I can make any lunch I want (goodbye peanut butter and jelly). Unfortunately, there are some downsides, such as not being able to see my friends every day and I feel like I have more work than normal. Homework, club planning, youth group recruitment, video contests, and volunteering, are just some of the many things on my to-do list. So, in today’s blog post, I will be sharing some of the things I have found most helpful in staying productive in a day of online work. This can be applied to online learning, jobs, hobbies, or anything happening in your life so you can have a day full of productivity!
What else should we add to the list? I hope you find my tips helpful. I have been using a lot of them since online school started a few weeks ago, and I definitely noticed some differences in my productivity (especially once I put my phone away, yikes). How have you been feeling about your productivity because of our new online environment? Do you have any tips we can add to the list? I would love to hear what you have to say in the comments below. 9/1/2020 0 Comments Living In The MomentI have found that I sometimes struggle with living in the moment - being completely present, here, in the now. While I may struggle with this, it is something I am working on. I know that when I am completely in the moment, I am happiest.
There are two main things I have found that prevent me from being truly present: (1) thinking about the future; and (2) my phone! Let me explain… I am a person who enjoys planning. I already know several colleges I want to apply to, I think about what I want to do as an adult, and I get ready for vacations months in advance. It is good to be prepared, but I can certainly go overboard. I spend so much time planning for things to come, but then I blink and it is all gone. An example of this is my excitement for college. I like thinking about it and visualizing my life in a couple years. The enthusiasm is great, but I can be excited for something in the future, while still remembering to focus on what is happening right now. While I am excited for college, I can also enjoy the fun things in high school. I can focus on the homecoming pep rally (although who knows how that will be happening this year), hanging out with my friends on weekends, or even having dinner with my family. I have exciting things happening today, and I do not want to miss them by looking too far ahead. In general, thinking about the future is good, but there is a limit. I try to place a limit on myself in a way. I can think about what is to come every now and then and even do some planning (because some preparation can be good), but then I can ground myself in the current day. What is happening at the moment? What is happening today? How can I enjoy this now to the fullest? Something else that prevents me from being completely in the moment is being behind my phone! I especially notice this when I find a scenic place in nature or discover a “cute” location. My mindset can be oh my gosh, this place is adorable, time to take a picture, and then I will proceed to take several photos, making sure I get the perfect one, without really getting to soak in the view with my own eyes. After doing this for some time, I realized it is not about the picture, it is about the view. When I spent so much time trying to get a perfect picture, I wasn’t happy or living in the moment. Do not get me wrong, I love having photos from places I go as memories and to post on Instagram, but I realized that should not be my sole focus. Recently, when going on little adventures, I have worked on making the times I take out my phone minimal. I really wanted to be focused on where I was at the moment. Of course I would take out my phone and snap some pictures (after all, pictures are so much fun to look back on), but I would take a few then put my phone away. If I wanted to get a picture for Instagram, I might say, “Okay, I want to take a couple minutes to get an Instagram picture, but then I am all done,” or, “Let’s take a second to get a family shot.” By doing this, I am more present, and can enjoy where I am without worrying about getting a picture. I know I have some pictures to capture the moment, or maybe even post, but then I am done. To sum everything up, there are many distractions that can get in the way of you, me, or anyone living in the moment. Life moves at a fast pace, and if you are not looking you can miss it. Whatever your distraction may be, whether it is thinking about the future, going on your phone, taking pictures, or something else all together, try to anchor yourself down and open your eyes to the present moment. This is something I am still working on, but I am getting better at it. Is this something you are working on? If so, what are your distractors? How do you live in the moment? Living in the moment helps create amazing memories. Being present for spectacular views, laughter with your friends, travels with your family, parties with your peers, and other life happenings will help us all enjoy everything so much more. A saying that I like to repeat is very relevant for this topic: be here now. 8/18/2020 13 Comments Why Do You Workout?I have a question for you. Why do you work out? Tell me your honest answer.
I absolutely love working out! It makes me feel strong, the endorphin release boosts my mood, and it is a fun way to move my body. I like setting goals for myself, such as doing 30 solid pushups by the end of the summer, shaving one minute off my 5k time, and reaching a juggling high score. Working hard to reach these goals is exhilarating and satisfying as I accomplish them. I enjoy exercise for all of these reasons. However, based on conversations with other people, various social media videos, and advertisements, I have found that many people have other motives. When asked the same question I asked above, why do you work out?, responses could sound something like the following: to lose weight, to get abs, to get rid of love handles, and the list continues. I have seen many TikTok videos of girls saying, “This is a reminder to love yourself, but there is nothing wrong with wanting a bigger butt and slimmer waist,” or “Here is my exercise for easy weight loss.” When I hear these messages, I am screaming inside, NOOOOOO! There is so much I could say about loving yourself and wanting to lose weight, but that is a discussion for a whole other post. For right now, I want to focus on motives for exercise. Exercise should be done because you want to! If you don’t feel like it one day, then don’t. If you don’t like exercising, then don’t. If you want to exercise, then please do! But, I cannot stress this enough: Do. It. Because. You. Like. How. It. Makes. You. Feel. I completely understand the drive for wanting to workout to change the way your body looks. We live in a society that is focused on appearance and applauds perfectly toned and thin bodies (definitely a discussion for another post). If this is your motivation for exercise, it is understandable. Although it may be difficult in a world where Instagram “fat loss” or “perfect body” workouts are prevalent, I encourage you to view exercise not as a way to change your body, but as a way to feel good in the body you are in. Many exercise programs focus on working out for weight loss and aesthetic purposes, but this is not the intent of exercise. In fact, according to exercise.com, exercise dates back to 600 B.C. in ancient Greece, for the purposes of training to increase speed, endurance, and strength. Only recently have the aesthetic values of exercise been tagged along with that. Keep this in mind the next time you go to workout. Start your session with a goal of getting stronger, working hard, and feeling good about your body before you even begin moving. Also, what is exercise anyway? For most of us, our minds probably jump to thoughts of hitting the gym, lifting weights, a sprint class, and running multiple miles. Yes, these are forms of exercise. It is important to remember that dancing in front of your mirror to your favorite tunes, going through a calming yoga routine, playing and practicing your favorite sport, swimming in the pool with your friends, and walking around your neighborhood are all forms of exercise too. So, what’s the point, Madeleine? After reading this, I want you to rethink what you’ve been told and what you are seeing on social media about working out. Honor the signals your body is sending about how it wants to be moved. Exercise not because you want to look a certain way, but because you want to exercise. What are your thoughts on this topic? How do you like to move your body? What’s your favorite form of exercise? Let me know in the comments below! Ugh, I’m soooo bored! Have you said this recently? If so, it is totally normal and I can guarantee many other people have said the same thing. We are currently battling a pandemic and, by staying home and physically distancing, we are doing our part to help stop the spread of COVID-19. Nonetheless, with several places closed and restrictions on who we can see, it is not uncommon to get bored and not know what to do during these trying times. Even if you are not physically distancing, you can find this post helpful to make your summer and time during virtual learning more interesting. I enjoy keeping myself busy and always try to stay occupied. So, if you are looking to find ideas for some activities to do, you have come to the right place! Here is a list of things I have been doing over quarantine for fun and to stay busy.
What have you been up to over quarantine? If you try anything I have mentioned, let me know. Do you have any ideas we can add to the activity list? Comment below!
Life is full of unexpected twists and turns. Multiple times we will be rejected, turned away, or not able to do something we really wanted to do. I hope everything goes right in all of your lives, but, for the times when it does not, I want you to know I am a firm believer that everything happens for a reason. If one opportunity ends, another one is right around the corner.
To give some examples, say you were rejected from your dream school, your boyfriend broke up with you, and you shattered your brand new phone. All of these seemingly devastating situations can create new opportunities. It may not feel like it at the moment, and it will take some perseverance, but you will find that all of the “bad” things that happened to you happened so you could learn and do better. Continuing on with the examples, you later attended a college where you had the best four years of your life, you met your future husband, and you realized that face to face interactions are ten million times better than communicating through text messages. Unfortunate events happen, but how you deal with them is up to you. At the moment, I am dealing with a setback of my own. Due to a temporary medical issue I have not been able to do high intensity exercise, including two of my favorite hobbies - running and playing soccer. I am entering my seventh month with this limitation and craving the day I will be able to get back on my game. It has been difficult missing soccer practice while my team is training and knowing that the great endurance and speed I built up over many years of work has been decreasing. Also, sweating and getting my heart rate up makes me feel strong and happy. I knew I couldn’t do this if I wanted to be healthy. I was faced with two options. How to handle this situation? I could spend my extra time watching YouTube videos and being disappointed, or I could try something new. Don’t get me wrong, I am still very disappointed about this setback, but I decided to make the most out of it. I replaced running with daily walks. These walks have given me the opportunity to talk to old friends on the phone and discover new podcasts. I wouldn’t have been able to do either of these things with my traditional running routine. Walking wasn’t enough for me though. I really missed soccer, but I couldn’t play. So, I became a coach! I am now an assistant coach for a girls soccer team in my area. It has been a great opportunity to look at soccer in a different way than what I have known all my life as a player. I am planning practices and giving the girls tips. It is empowering and rewarding to mentor younger girls who love the sport that I love. Even when I am able to play soccer again, I will continue coaching because it is a new way of leading that I hope to carry on even when I am an adult. Lastly, with more time to think and less time running and practicing (mixed with the additional time quarantine has given me) I was able to start working on my blog! I can replace the time I spent at soccer practices by writing more content, developing this creative platform, and connecting with my readers. My blog is something I cherish and I am thrilled to have finally made this idea reality after thinking about it for several years. So, that is my current setback, my seemingly devastating situation. Once my medical issues are resolved, I will be ecstatic to get back into soccer and running. For now, I have found new hobbies that will continue for a long time, and I have a new strength. I know that when the next challenging situation is thrown at me, I will be able to turn it into something positive. What setbacks are you dealing with right now? No matter how big or small they seem, I know you can find the light at the end of the tunnel. I know when it seems a door was slammed in your face, there is another one just waiting to be opened. 8/4/2020 5 Comments Here's to new beginningsHello everyone! Wow, here we are! The blog I have thought about for years is finally published. I am over the moon excited for this new endeavor and to share the journey with you.
My name is Madeleine. I am 16 years old and live in Maryland. I love to write and look forward to writing real and relatable (hence the blog name) content. I hope we can connect through this platform and grow to become a supportive online community. The launch of my blog is a new experience for me. I figured what better topic to write about in my first post than new beginnings and trying something different or outside your comfort zone. As I began to work toward my goal of creating a blog, I had many thoughts about whether or not I should go through with it. What if people don’t read my posts? What if it’s a waste of time? Should I do something else instead? Often when doing something outside your comfort zone or when you don’t know how something will play out, you may decide not to do it. It could be too much work, too unpredictable, or not go according to plan. I know, because I certainly had some of these thoughts. Anything you do potentially has consequences. I learned to examine the benefits and downsides that could result. For example, with my blog, although I had reasonable fears, the pros far outweighed the cons. Worst case scenario, it’s a flop? But, I had to look at all the potential! Blogging is something I have wanted to do for a long time. It gives me the platform to express my thoughts, hear from other people, and improve my writing. It can be a lot of fun and by starting my own blog I can put a check mark next to one of my biggest goals. I think the hardest part in taking on something new is “jumping off the diving board” and saying, “This is the day. Today I am going to do it!” Rolling with my diving board metaphor here, there are reasons to be scared - it’s really high up, you don’t want to slip, what if you get water up your nose - but after you jump, the fears will literally and figuratively wash away and you will end up having fun. So, let me ask you. What’s the diving board in your life at the moment? Is there something you’ve really been wanting to do, but just one thing holding you back? Go for it! The rewards are likely much greater than the risks. As I clicked the “publish” button for this website, I made my jump. I look forward to exploring the swimming pool I have just entered. Make your jump today! |
AuthorLover of adventures, traveling, family time, fashion, soccer, writing, and more, Madeleine is giving you all the real and relatable content you have been looking for. Archives
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